My first date:

I went to the Kings County Fair with Colleen when I was 16. We had a great time on the rides and I hoped to win her a teddy bear. I did but it was a small bear. It cost me $35. In today’s money that would be like $2,000. I took her home and got a goodnight kiss and I was in love. I wanted to marry her and have kids.
The next night she went back to the fair with an older guy that had a blue 1966 Chevy Malibu. I was devastated but I learned 3 things: 1. Love can be tough 2. You should always win the big teddy bear for your date and 3. Girls named Colleen are mean.

My 2005 Christmas Letter

Dear Friends,

It was another good year in 2005 for Jim. I have continued to go to therapy and I have made some progress on my many childhood issues that I wrote about in previous Christmas letters. My three office plants had another good year but my therapist doesn’t feel that I’m ready for a pet. I’m still working as a stock broker and the market was pretty flat during 2005. At times I felt like a broke stocker. I’m still doing comedy and had a 2 month slump during the summer. People looked at me as if I was doing poetry.
In my extended family only 2 relatives went to jail this year. My cousin Bob is in Norco. No Disneyland Bob says. Cousin Barbara had her son end up in Leavenworth. His is a federal offense of transporting drugs across state lines. Overall 2005 was good! Hope that you have a healthy and prosperous 2006.

Your friend,

Jim

Dear Tom,

You have asked me several times about my philosophy of getting along with women so I decided that rather than tell you I would put it in writing. I know that you have struggled in your relationships with women and have never been married. I on the other hand was married and struggled with that. Why did you ask me anyway? Are you on drugs? Oh yeah that’s right.
Here are my thoughts but I am don’t consider myself an expert. In fact most of the time I have “no clue” on getting along with women but here’s what I think today:
A. Women are different from us more emotional therefore they like it when we are nice.
1. If you are too nice they don’t like it because they think you are being phony.
2. If you are phony they don’t like it because if reminds them of their fathers.
3. If you remind them of their father you will never have sex with them because that would be incest.
Tom remember be nice but not too nice…
Women like to laugh and have a good time. Girls just want to have fun as Cindy Lauper used to always say.
1. They like to laugh but sometimes they like to cry and talk about serious things and get their emotions out.
2. Remember Tom don’t be to funny or to serious.

Your Friend,

Jim

P.S. Shred this letter once you read it so no one will ever see this stuff!!!

Why Jimi B. Full Throttle?

My name is Jim Billingsley and when I was growing up in Lemoore, California kids always called me Jimmy. That worked in elementary school but when I got to high school I became Jim. Jim became the adult part of me while Jimmy my Inner Child got buried. This blog is my attempt to bring Jimmy back. Why Jimi? I always loved Jimi Hendrix one of the most creative guitarist/songwriter/performers that ever lived. Jimi Hendrix always lived his creative life full throttle.

From a Jimi Hendrix website: “Not only a master at the guitar, Hendrix was also a lyrical genius. His words are full of creative images and sounds, that paint a wounderful picture in your imagination.”

My hope for this blog is that I start living my creative life full throttle and that my words here are full of creative images that paint a humorous picture in your imagination. I welcome your feedback and comments….

Hopefully I won’t get comments like: Are you deluded wanting to create Hendrix like creative images on your blog. Answer: I want to be inspired by the moon and stars I didn’t say that’s where I am now.

You MUST be from California writing about your Inner Child. Answer: I can be sensitive at times but I haven’t seen “Broke Back Mountain” and I played football and baseball in high school.