The first time I wore a tie I felt very grown up. I was only 6 years old and my sister Marilyn was 4 and we did a Presbyterian Church recital for an Easter program. Marilyn was supposed to start and then I would go next. She got stage freight and started sucking her thumb. I became impatient with all the waiting so I hit her and walked off the stage. My sister started crying and all the adults started laughing. My parents were publicly humiliated and embarrassed. Good Presbyterians were not supposed to do those kinds of things in public. If that had happened today my parents probably would have been arrested and charged with child abuse…

My Big Fears—Sometimes I have a fear of heights. I think that if I get to close to the edge of a big building someone that doesn’t like me, will find me, come up behind me, and push me off the side. This has never actually happened to me but sometimes I have dreams about it. Luckily I wake up before I hit the ground. My second big fear is a deep fear of Japanese people. I think that I was killed during World War II on a South Pacific beach head and then reincarnated in this life. I fear Japanese people in general but especially Sumo wrestlers. They are so big and I fear that if I ever got in a wrestling match with one of them my head would be crushed…

I have a very interesting family and it seems we have great family stories to tell. One of the best is about my mom’s Uncle Bill who was a real dog lover. He was in his late 70s and one day he saw a guy beating his dog in a field near his house. He went over and said that he didn’t like the way the guy was treating his dog. The guy who was a young ex-marine 6’2” and 210 lbs. said it was none of his business how he treated his dog and proceeded to attack Uncle Bill. Bill was all of 5’6” but in good shape for his age proceeded to beat up the ex-marine to “teach him a lesson”. The marine had Bill arrested and they later went to court. The judge who couldn’t stop laughing threw the case out because he thought that Bill must be the one bringing the case to court and thought that he must have been the one beaten up when he saw the difference in their size and ages. Maybe the judge was a dog lover too or maybe this is one of my family urban legends. I must say that I heard this story from Uncle Bill’s own lips and I am convinced that it was true...

Hair—one of the things I have been blessed with in life is lots of hair. To quote my barber, “You will never go bald.” At least I hope that I won’t go bald. My brother is losing lots of his hair so genically speaking my barber could be wrong. I don’t think it would be that bad. Most of the bald people that I know are nice. They seem to always find the humor in their situation and be able to laugh at themselves. I heard that some women even prefer bald men. Hairy men on the other hand might be too well, hairy. I seem to have enough hair but its turning gray. I have more salt than pepper is what my friend Mike says. My grandfather who was bald always said, “Whether you have it or not hair can be a problem"....

Sometimes I have trouble remembering names so I’ll say “hey Bud how are you today?” or “hey Bud what’s up?” I hate when people do that to me. It’s so condescending but there was dementia in my family and I easily forget names. My family was also highly critical and judgmental so I’m usually thinking what’s wrong with the person physically when I first meet them so I miss their name the first time. I’m thinking wow what a big nose that lady has or this guy seems a tad overweight. My friend might say, “Jim, this is Bob” and the name goes right by me. Even a minute or two later I’m thinking who is this I’m talking to? If I see Bob a week or two later I’ll probably say, “Hey Bud”…